Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Letters to You: The Last One

Dear friends,

This is my 578th post here at Castillo Party of 5...the 578th and final.  When I look back to the first post, I simultaneously feel like that very same girl...and that I scarcely would know her on the street.  The blog has documented five years, three pregnancies and deliveries, 9 little birthdays, and lots of growth stats.  It has captured my turning into a mom with all the awkward phases of stretching in and out of seasons.  The blog was a place I scribbled milestones, favorite sayings and zillions of pictures.  It helped me figure out how I felt about motherhood and hopefully captured memories of what I was like for the littles when they are little no more.  This little corner of the internet has been both good to me and for me.

Now, life has changed.  It isn't what I would have chosen, but God has been so faithful in the midst of all the upheaval.

I know that sounds a little cliche.  A little sterile and oversimplified considering the reality.  The truth is that every day is an emotional paradox.  A seeming contradiction.  There is an intermingling of true joy and great sadness in each day.  I would choose to pick one.  I would choose, if I could, to be perfectly happy or just mourn loss.  But that's not how it works, right?  We live in a broken world of hard things AND God's faithfulness.  His gift of joy in Himself is steady and the manifestations of sin are rampant.  It's both at the same time.  The sadness of this world isn't a thing to that can be escaped...and His presence is faithfully enough to fill up a hurting heart with Himself.  And He's just enough.  Each day.  One day at a time.

Though our life is changing, I am not giving up blogging entirely.  No, I know it's not as though I am writing the next great novel.  It's not as though I am penning new concepts or sketching fresh ideas into existence.  I'm just saying the same things every mother says to her children, albeit perhaps more wordily than others would deem necessary.

It's just that I like it.  I like the writing. I like reading the memories.  I hope the stories will be a good reading for the children one day.  My grandmother has suggested I write a book.  (It always brings to mind all those American Idol contestants who belt out off-key tunes in terrible rhythm and insist their mothers said they have what it takes to be America's next idol.  Ahem.)  I can't imagine what I would write in a book.  Right now, all my muse, knowledge, and content is wrapped up in the three tiny people I am ushering into childhood.  So, I will continue writing but at a new home:

In many ways, things will be entirely the same.  In others, very different.  Whatever I write, don't write, post, link or upload, I'll write all the words I can think of to describe this extraordinarily ordinary life we're building.

Thank you, for all the reading you've done.  (Or for all the pictures you've scrolled past, *cough Travis cough*.)  Thank you for being a part of our lives with your comments.  I am grateful for your kindness and extreme indulgence.  You are welcome in our new home where the words and pictures are never in shortage and the good gifts of joy never hidden.

Thank you my friends.

Love, Teri Lee